If you thought I had vanished into thin air, possibly the victim of one of my famous car crashes, think again! I'm alive and well.

So.............Where have I been? Why haven't I posted in a year and a half? What's the deal? I assure you I have good (and interesting) answers to all of those questions. Check back in a few weeks and I'll give you the inside scoop. In the meantime, how about another Bugatti Veyron crash pic? ;-)

Being in the car biz, as well as getting to test drive lots of high-end cars, I need to stay on top of what's going on in the automotive industry. I rarely miss an auto show, and tonight was no exception. I attended the L.A. Auto Show's "Sneak Preview Night", which is for media and high rollers only. Of course I have some connections at the show who snuck me in, as usual. I had an awesome time, as you can imagine. Since so many readers of this blog have chastised me for never carrying a camera and taking pictures of stuff, I brought one along! Here are some of the many pictures I snapped........

The dining/bar area: great food everywhere, alcohol flowing, everybody socializing and relaxing













The new Chevy Camaro: best looking Camaro in ages, if you ask me













Audi's new R8 supercar: I need to get the keys to one of these bad boys!













Dodge Challenger: now THIS is a car worth bringing back! Amazing job, Dodge, looks great!













Ah, this car brings back memories. BAD memories (see my test drive below). Gotta love the Veyron though, she's a beauty













Me sitting inside a Lamborghini Gallardo. Nice ride













The same Gallardo, from afar, next to a white Murcielago, which I also sat in













Ferrari's new 599 GTB Fiorano, what a beauty













Maybach's new Exelero: A modern day batmobile













Mercedes Benz McLaren SLR: Awesome car, which I've had the pleasure of driving













Porsche Carrera GT - WRECKED! I didn't do it, I swear!













Anyway, those are just some of the highlights of my exciting evening. As always I met some great people, hobnobbed with a few celebrities in attendance, and felt right at home. Networking at these types of events is what allows me to drive so many cool cars, so it's definitely worth it. I get e-mails all the time from people saying they wish that they had my job. Yeah, I guess it's nice work if you can get it!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for not posting in a while. I have been extremely busy traveling all over the world - for business unfortunately, not pleasure. On the plus side, I got to test drive some AWESOME new cars whilst traveling. Stay tuned for a full recap, coming soon.

I hadn't until recently. But sure enough, I am going to have the opportunity to drive it very soon! It has 600 horsepower and is apparently extremely lightweight. Sounds like a dangerous combination. I can't wait!

Stay tuned for details.

Hello all. I've been getting a lot of e-mails from visitors, and there have been quite a few comments left on this blog as well. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you. E-mails and comments are presented in their entirety, unaltered. I left out the names of the submitters to keep things anonymous. My responses are in blue. Enjoy!

E-mail (from a car salesman in Wisconsin): "you should be blacklisted from every car dealer. dont try to come to my dealership! get a life."
My response: Ouch, that's harsh (name removed). To be fair, the only car I ever wrecked from a dealership was the 330i, and if you read my post on that it wasn't really my fault (negligence on dealership's part). Nevertheless, I promise I will never come to your dealership. I don't plan to visit Wisconsin anytime soon (who does?), so I wouldn't worry about it.

I have a life, you just read about it! :-)

-John

Comment: "If you are going to make up driving stories, at least pretend that you had your eyes open. You even said: 'Truthfully I have no idea if there is an actual speed limit on the Autobahn, and if there is no one seemed to care.' Roughly 40 percent of the autobahn has speed limits. Electronic signs in some of the unregulated stretches 'suggest' speeds based on traffic and the time of day."
My Response: I did have my eyes open, but I was focusing on not getting into an accident, instead of reading every sign and contemplating its meaning. Having a few signs here and there that "suggest" maximum speeds for certain times of day is NOT the same as a speed limit in my opinion. Like I said, on the segments I was driving on I saw no evidence that there was a cast-in-concrete "speed limit".

Comment: "BMW's use a captive hub / arch arrangment. A rear wheel cannot leave the wheel arch unless the car is jacked up. So unless the car was stationary and jacked up. Your lying."
My Response: Boy, that sounds like some fancy wheel technology there. Unfortunately the wheel still fell off. If you'd like I can give you the name and number of the BMW salesman who was riding with me - I'd love to see you convince him that the wheel didn't fall off, nor did we get into a terrible accident and total his car.

Comment: "How did a block of ice from a 'bottle' of Pepsi manage not to melt during a 10 minute clean up followed by a drive back to the dealership in a vehicle which was hot enough to melt a crayon?If your going to lie, make it believable."
My Response: Who said it was a "bottle" of Pepsi? I said "a 22oz Pepsi". Ever heard of fountain drinks? A little store down the street from me called 7-11 sells them. I recommend that you Google 7-11 to find one nearest you. Also, I am not Bill Nye the Science Guy, so I can't really explain how a crayon melted in the car, yet later in the day an ice cube managed to survive. My theory is that it was a mutant, tough-as-nails ice cube that just didn't want to die. I understand that this explanation probably won't satisfy you, so if you'd like I'd be happy to contact NASA and have them check into it.

Comment: "Not to mention that Pepsi doesn't actually have any ice in it..."
My Response: Again, it was a fountain drink and my friend (who left it in the Ford GT) happens to like a lot of ice.

Keep the questions and comments coming!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Nothing like doing a 180 degree spin in some loose dirt and gravel - that's what the Veyron was made for! You are looking at a picture of a Bugatti Veyron that was being driven at high speeds on a track, and then proceeded to wipeout. Yes, finally I have produced a Bugatti Veyron crash picture - you can stop e-mailing me! OK, I admit, it's not a "crash" pic (more of a wipeout pic) but hey, I'm doing the best that I can! A big thanks to Gregg over at wreckedexotics.com for sending me the pic.

So, who is the masked man behind the wheel? Is it yours truly? I am proud to say that it is NOT. Indeed, another test driver - an actual "professional" driver - spun this burgundy Veyron out. The incident occurred sometime in 2003, during a press demonstration at the Monterey Historics event in Mazda Raceway at Laguna Seca. Apparently the Bugatti driver was demonstrating the Veyron's high-speed handling abilities and lost control of the car, during the first lap no less! (Sources: Wikipedia.org and San Diego Union Tribune). I don't believe the car was damaged, but I bet the driver's pride was. It is also rumored that prior to this incident, a Veyron prototype was completely destroyed during high speed testing by Bugatti at an unknown location. So you see, I am not the only one losing control of these cars!

Here's another interesting piece of Bugatti trivia: the pronunciation of the word "Veyron" is a bit different from the way it is spelled. How do I know this? Because the VP of Bugatti that I met (at the press event - see previous post) said the word "Veyron" about a hundred times while we were chatting. The obvious pronunciation, based on the spelling, is 'Vay-ron'. That's the way I've always said it. However, the Bugatti guy pronounced it 'Vah-rone', with emphasis on the first syllable. I am going to assume that his was the correct pronunciation, being that he works for Bugatti, speaks Italian and is Italian. Despite the helpful lesson in pronunciation that he gave me, I continue to pronounce it wrong. Go figure.

Well, that about does it for this post. I had planned to list some FAQs and my answers, but I decided instead to continue with the Bugatti Veyron theme, since so many people seemed to be interested in it. I'll cover the FAQs in my next post, and will also include a few e-mails that I have received (with my responses). Like some of the comments that are turning up, the e-mails are a bit nasty! Stay tuned for a few laughs.

Thanks to everyone who has e-mailed, commented, or just plain visited this blog. It really makes writing it worthwhile. I hope to see you back again soon.

I've been debating over the past few weeks whether or not to post this entry, but here goes. 3 weeks ago I was attending an automotive press event in Italy. I attend such events regularly due to the nature of my job. If I didn't make it clear before, I work for an company that manufactures automotive parts. This job has given me connections all over the automotive world and is what has afforded me the opportunity to test drive so many cars. Anyway, back to the story...

So here I am at the automotive press event in Italy, December 2005. The topic: the hottest Italian cars of 2005. While there were many offerings from Ferrari, Lamborghini, Alfa Romeo, etc., the talk of the town was obviously the mighty Bugatti Veyron. This 1001 horsepower beast marks the rebirth of Bugatti, and does so with authority. The looks, power and speed of this car have already made it a legend; it is the fastest and most powerful production car ever built, if not the best looking. This car has been the talk of the automotive world for years, and it was CLEARLY the star of this show.

While this particular event was mostly "show" as opposed to "go", there was indeed a racetrack there. Select drivers were allowed to take various models out for a shakedown on the raceway. The sound of Italian machines zooming around the course was sure intoxicating, and I can't say I wasn't a little jealous of the chosen few who got to drive the cars. Fortunately for me I was eventually introduced to one of the V.P.'s of Bugatti and we chatted up a storm. This guy was so proud of the Veyron, what a benchmark it was for Bugatti, finest car ever produced, and on and on. You'd think he was talking about his own child. I had to agree with him though, it was a pretty amazing ride, and I loved listening to him talk it up.

After about 15 minutes he asked me about myself. I gave him some brief details, making sure to emphasize that I've test driven plenty of supercars. He promptly said "nothing like the Veyron though!" while smiling ear to ear. I had to agree with him there, and also had to remark on how wonderful it would be to drive. To my amazement, he took the bait. He mentioned that a select few drivers and automotive journalists would be driving the Veyron for one "hot lap", and told me that if I thought I could handle it, he'd arrange for me to be one of the chosen ones. I calmly said "well sir, I would sure appreciate that", while inside I was screaming and jumping for joy like a little kid. I couldn't wait!

About an hour passed, then it was my time to suit up. A few other gentleman had already taken the Veyron out for a spin, and the flash bulbs were going off like machine guns. It was standing room only trying to catch a glimpse of the burgundy colored Veyron whizzing by. I was eventually waved over by a member of Bugatti, asked to put on a helmet and fill out a brief "driver bio" and then took my place in line. I was instructed to take a nice, easy lap and not to push the car too hard. "Sure" I thought, I can do that.

I get inside the car - which was beautiful by the way - and settle in, trying to get comfortable before my wild ride in the spotlight. After a few minutes of working the shifter and the pedals to settle into my groove, I was waved onto the track and got the green flag. I gave her about half gas and BOOM, I'm off like a shot. I proceed to fly through the course at a gingerly, controlled pace, struggling to keep myself from flooring it and breaking the sound barrier. Turn after turn I fell more in love with the car - the handling and power were so effortless - it was like a racecar with a luxury cockpit. I was in heaven, living every man's wildest fantasy. For those brief 2 minutes it was good to be me.

Then, about 3/4 of the way around the track, my perfect fantasy was abruptly interrupted. While negotiating a hairpin turn (which should have been a walk in the park in this car) I sort of oversteered the wheel and took the turn too tight. This resulted in me hitting the inside of the wall just as I came out of the turn. Not a direct hit mind you, just a scrape, but it freaked me out! I wondered to myself (as my heart sank to the floor with terror) "did anybody notice?" I continued driving as if nothing had happened. I hoped and prayed that no one saw - or heard - what happened, but I had no such luck. When I pulled into the pit area people were flocking all around the car in a panic, pointing to the left-front fender. I was immediately asked to exit the car and was given quite a scolding from several Bugatti representatives, including the V.P. who granted me the test drive. He said "I thought you knew how to drive, my friend" and shook his head. He estimated the damage to the fender at over $10,000 and told me he should send the bill to me, half-joking. I felt lower than dirt. All eyes were on me, and at that moment I felt like the poorest excuse for a driver on the planet. After this, who else in their right mind would give me the keys to anything? Were my test driving days over?

It's been 3 weeks since the incident and I still don't know the answer to that question. All I know is I feel like a world-class jackass right now. Not sure when my next post will be - your guess is as good as mine. The way things are going I may have to rename this blog to "Tales of a Bus Rider".

If anybody comes across a picture of a burgundy Veyron with a smashed left front fender on the Internet, um, *ahem*, that would be my handiwork. Seriously, if you do find something, perhaps you could e-mail it to me? It'll be a souvenir of sorts. Heck, maybe it'll make it to www.wreckedexotics.com, wouldn't that be swell? Perhaps they'd let me write the caption for the photo:

"Idiot receives once-in-a-lifetime test drive opportunity and rams into a wall."

Yeah, that about covers it.

500 horses is enough to get anyone's juices flowing. So I found out during my recent trip to Germany for a sneak peek at BMW's new M6. This Bavarian supercar shares many parts with the soon-to-be arriving M5, and is one helluva machine, to say the least. Those of you who are on the M6 waiting list - and don't plan to sell your spot on eBay - are in for a real treat.

I won't get into major technical specs - you can Google those if you like - instead I'd rather talk about blasting down Europe's most famous motorway at 155 mph. Working the SMG transmission is odd at first, but the more I drove the car the more I liked it. Shifts are razor sharp and oh so fast! 1st, 2nd, 3rd..........uh-oh, here comes 85 mph............ahhhhhhhh, there's 4th gear, and 5th, and 6th and.......155 mph! Whoa, where'd THAT come from?


This car is so fast it is sickening. Doing 155 mph is easier than downloading .mp3s, and it's legal too! (I think). Truthfully I have no idea if there is an actual speed limit on the Autobahn, and if there is no one seemed to care. After 30 minutes in the #3 lane, I got tired of being passed by Porsches in the left hand lanes and decided to join in on the fun. 130 mph became my new cruising speed, and this car felt like it could do it all day long. Believe it or not I still had to move out of the way to let a few insane Carrera drivers pass me at what appeared to be 160 mph or so. These people like to drive fast! Occasionally I goosed it to 150+ mph and while fun, it made me a bit uneasy. At 155 mph you really have to be on your toes, and I guess I just wasn't quite in the mood for Mach 3 cruising. Does that make me an Autobahn wuss? Perhaps. But I'd rather be a wuss in an M6 than a stud who drives a Camry.

Long story short, I spent the entire day putting the M6 through its paces. This car has it all - looks, power, handling, and the most amazing sport seats (mine were red) I have ever sat in. At the end of the day I returned this Bavarian missle back to the good folks at BMW, and in one piece no less! Not even a scratch on it. OK one scratch, but it was like that when I got it, honest! No test drive mishaps for me this time around. Uh-oh, did I just jinx myself? I guess we'll find out.

Verdict: If you have a spare $100K burning a hole in your Dockers, you might want to pick up an M6. Just make sure to have several friends with bail money at the ready; buying this car is like buying a one-way ticket to jail. But oh what a ride it'll be!

Hello readers, it's been a while since I've posted. Frankly I just haven't been able to muster the energy lately. However, numerous things have happened in my life since my last post, and one in particular is worth sharing I think.

On August 27th I headed down to my local BMW dealer to browse some Bimmer's. I had been thinking of getting a new car for some time, and I must admit the new 3-series caught my eye. The 5, 6 and 7 series, along with the Z4, simply don't do it for me. Not that I can afford them! Anyway, I had done some comparison shopping, and although a bit overpriced (in relation to the competition) the 3-series seemed to be the car to have. It has already won numerous car "shootout" tests in magazines like Motor Trend and Car & Driver, so it must be good. Right? Sometimes I think BMW pays those magazines off. Who knows.

I arrive at the dealership and begin browsing all the shiny "Ultimate Driving Machines". Within seconds some sales schmuck is all over me - a Middle Eastern man with chesthair bursting out of his "pimpy" shirt. We chat a bit - he seems nice enough - but in typical BMW fashion acts like he is doing me a favor trying to sell me a car. He also makes it quite clear that they don't "deal" on cars - the price is the price, he says. OK, so I hate this guy already, but I do love that 3-series! After looking at a few and sitting in a couple different ones he suggests we take one out, and heads for the key rack. Back he comes, gold chains dangling, and points to a silver 330 with the Sport package. My heart races. We get in, I fire up the 255 hp engine, and slowly pull away. I'm in heaven already, and we haven't even left the lot.

We drive the traditional "test drive" route: boring, short, and full of traffic. I haven't even BEGUN to see what this baby can do, and Mr. Sales Pimp doesn't seem to care. I ask him if we can take a longer route so I can open the car up a bit, and he agrees, acting like he is doing me a huge favor. I continue down the street, eventually reaching about 60mph. I dodge and weave through traffic with the greatest of ease, and man does this car feel good! The steering is tight, and so precise, but it does require a bit of elbow grease to turn the wheel. It glides along like butter and is the definition of smooth.

Moments later I weave and pass a few more cars when suddenly the rear of the car sinks down and starts grinding on the pavement. I slam on the brakes, at which point I see the rear wheel go flying ahead! It flies down the road at warp speed and then rolls into a ditch. Me and the salesman are shocked, trying to make sense of what just happened when BAM! We're hit from behind by a Chevy Caprice. The hit sends us flying and spins us 180 degrees. It all happened so fast, when we came to a stop I just sat there, completely freaked out and speechless. The silence is broken by the salesman saying "oh shit man, what did you do, what did you do to my car man?!" The once beautiful 330 was now a crushed pile of scrap - destroyed! He called the dealership, who had a tow truck come out to pick up us and the car, and we headed back. Was I in trouble?

Sitting in the dealership manager's office I was sweating bullets. What would happen? Will I be held responsible? The manager proceeds to ask me all sorts of questions, and asks me to fill out some liability forms. The sales jackass tries to blame everything on me of course. "This guy (pointing his thumb at me) was driving too fast man, crashed the car." After 30 minutes of re-enacting what had happened, a technician who was inspecting the car came in to tell us the damage. "This car's totaled; frame damage, suspension damage, it's gone". Oh goody! He also proceeds to mention that the car was in the service bay the day before to replace a scratched rim - the same rim that flew off! Apparently one of the junior techs had been given the simple task of replacing the rim on the car, and may not have tightened the lug nuts properly, causing the wheel to work itself loose. I was saved! Needless to say that guy probably got fired. The dealership manager finally told me they would need to research the situation further and that he'd be in touch. I took this as my cue to exit and got the HELL out of there. I think I'll unplug my phone for a while!

Suffice to say, my new car search is now on hold. What a bummer!

So here I am in Tampa, FL for the long holiday weekend. I arrive yesterday, my flight was on time, the sun was shining, so far so good. I pick up my bags and head to the rental car terminal to pick up my rental for the weekend. I went with Enterprise, who has been offering a $9.99 weekend day special recently, and decided to save a few bucks and go this route. Up to the counter I go to pick up my "Compact" vehicle. I complete the paperwork, get my key, and I'm on my way. "Space J9" says the counter clerk, and to the garage I go. As I'm walking the aisles looking for row J, I am immersed in a sea of rental cars. "Which one did I get?" I think to myself. Finally I spot row J. I glance down the entire row quickly, and every car looks fairly decent. As I walk past spaces 2 and 3, I notice a small white car that was previously hidden behind the others. "Please don't let that be mine" I think to myself. Suddenly horror sets in: the little white car sits in space J9. I had rented myself a Chevy Aveo. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I try to remind myself how cheap this car was to justify being stuck with this thing all weekend. I take a step back and size it up. White, about 6 feet long, with go-kart sized tires, the Aveo doesn't exactly get the heart pumping. This thing is like birth control on wheels - whoever drives it is guaranteed not to see any action from the ladies for a while. Nevertheless I load my bags in the trunk and get in. The interior is about as basic as you can get. As you gaze upon the plastic-laden interior, thoughts such as "Where have I gone wrong in life?" fill your head. This isn't an executive cruiser, merely basic transportation. GM tried to pull a fast one on us by placing a fancy gated shifter in the center console. I guess they hoped that would draw our eye away from the rest of the ugly interior, and that maybe, just maybe we wouldn't notice that this is a rebadged Daewoo. Sorry GM - didn't work.

I put the key in, give it a turn, and the pathetic little 4-cylinder engine comes to life. I take a deep breath, pull out of my parking space, and drive away. Leaving the rental car area I decide to punch it to see what this baby's got. Sounding like a dying hamster, the engine thrashes and whines, struggling to achieve forward motion. I've driven go-karts with more get-up-and-go. The horrific melody of the engine almost deters you from stomping on the gas, thus I was forced to ease up, lest my ears die of torture. I slowly attain enough speed to merge onto I-275 and I'm on my way downtown. Estimated distance 5-6 miles. No sweat, right?

About 3 miles down the Interstate, traffic begins to pile up. It's understandable; holiday weekend and everyone is trying to flee town. Suddenly traffic comes to a grinding halt! I mash the brakes and the brake pads mash against the silver-dollar sized rotors in a pathetic plea to stop. Finally I grind to a halt, just inches from the car in front of me. Whew! Next thing I know, I hear the sound of a rapidly approaching vehicle. I go to look in the rear-view mirror to see what the commotion is and BAM! Too late, I'd been hit! My car was sent flying forward, smashing the car ahead of me. I take a minute to compose myself, look for oncoming cars, then step out of the car. A Ford Excursion has seemed to have eaten the back half of my car, and is welded to it, more or less. What a great start to the weekend! And, I decided to decline the optional protection insurance on the car (which is typically worthless), but in this case it might have actually helped me. Perrrrrrrrrrfect!

After yammering back and forth with the dimwitted driver of this monstrosity, the police finally arrive and we fill out a report, exchange insurance information, etc. Obviously the guy who hit me is at fault - any time you rear-end someone, as far as the insurance companies are concerned, YOU are at fault. Regardless, I mentally prepare myself for months of back and forth with his insurance company to get reimbursed for the damages. Meanwhile, I've got to notify Enterprise and tell them the fate of my little losermobile. I call them, explain what happened, and they inform me that they'll send a tow truck out to retrieve what's left of my Aveo. The Excursion driver fires his land-barge up and pulls away from my car. My Aveo is literally crushed past the rear wheels, the rear-end of the car is completely GONE. Certainly not drivable. Maybe I could carry it back? Not wanting to throw out my back, I wait for the tow truck, which arrives 20 minutes later. The driver is almost laughing when he sees what is left of my car. The car is literally 4 feet long now. He manages to haul the wreckage up onto his flatbed tow truck. As I watch my wounded Aveo hoisted up for its final ride, I can't help but laugh. I had previously thought this car couldn't look any worse. Wrong I was. Even though I rented the Aveo sedan, I now had a hatchback. Haha!

After a few hours of paperwork, storytelling, discussing potential injuries and arguing with Enterprise officials, I decide to call a cab to take me to my hotel so I can get some rest. I think I'll be spending the rest of the weekend on foot; I don't feel like tempting fate at this point. I am just thankful to be in one piece. In retrospect, I am lucky to be alive! Sure, I've got major whiplash and my back is seriously seized up, but it could have been much worse. Kudos to GM for building a safe, albeit pocket-sized car.

I think I've had enough excitement for one day. I'm off to the hotel bar, then to the hot tub. Things can only go up from here. Hopefully my next test drive report will be a little more comprehensive, and feature less accidents.

Until next time.

Late last year - December to be exact - I traveled to Los Angeles on business, as I often do. While there I had lunch with a friend of mine - we'll call him Mike. Mike works for a large Ford dealer in the LA area, and he was jumping with joy over the arrival of several new Ford GTs at his dealership. At this particular time, dealers were only being alloted 1, maybe 2 GTs total for the year. And they were selling them for well over sticker price, in some cases double! As an automotive enthusiast and test driver I expressed my interest in the car and asked Mike all about it. While he wasn't allowed to drive one, Mike hinted that he was allowed to give legitimate potential buyers a test drive. I didn't pick up on what Mike was getting at right away, then it hit me. We'd go to his Ford dealer, with me posing as a well-to-do big shot looking to buy a GT, and attempt to get the keys. And off we went............

We weren't there 10 minutes and I was already being given the inquisition by the dealership manager to make sure I was a "serious" buyer. I played the role perfectly, coming off as a man who owned many cars and who could buy a GT without thinking twice. After building up my credibility with the manager for nearly 30 minutes, he went to grab the keys to a yellow GT with black racing stripes. I smiled, Mike smiled back, and visions of us blasting down the streets like wild teenagers danced in our heads.


Moments later we're rolling. I am working the gears like a madman, and Mike is loving it! Blasting down the streets at insane speeds and sounding like a fighter jet, we're attracting a lot of attention. Life is good. Mike mentions to me that if I didn't mind, he'd like us to swing by his place so he can show his wife our new ride. I agree. We arrive and his wife Judy goes berzerk when we get out of the car. After convincing her we didn't steal it, she calms down and circles the car, admiring every detail. Just then she blurts out that she is late to pick up their son from school, and runs for her car keys. "How about if I pick Jason up in the GT?" I ask. Knowing that their son will explode with excitement, both Mike and Judy agree, and off I go to Philips Nursery School.

I pull up alongside the curb, just as school is letting out, and the world stops. Parents, teachers, students awe-struck at the yellow racing machine parked curbside. Finally Jason makes his way out, staring at the car, but not realizing that it is his ride home! I get out of the car and motion him in and he skips over like a leprechaun hopped-up on 10 bags of sugar. His friends, jealous as can be, crowd the car. One asks me "Can this car do a tire burnout?" and all his little friends exclaim "Yeah! Do it, do it!" So I give her half gas, pop the clutch and light the fat rear tires ablaze. Children leap up and down, cheering and screaming, partially invisible in a massive cloud of tire smoke. I release the clutch the rest of the way and power out of there, tires still smoking. I was a God!

On the way home, Jason mentions to me that today his teacher asked each student to purchase some crayons by the end of the week. Not wanting our joyride to end, I spot a Staples and pull in. Moments later we emerge with the coveted Crayola 128 super pack of crayons - yes, the one with the built-in pencil sharpener. I picked it out myself, knowing it would rocket Jason to "badass" status at school. We return to the house and I join my friends for a nice meal on this perfect sunny day, all the while staring at "my" new GT in the driveway. "It doesn't get much better than this", I thought to myself.

After lunch Mike and I get ready to head back to the dealership to return the car. However, when I get in I notice something shocking - a melted crayon on the passenger side floor! Not only that, it was periwinkle, one of the best crayons in the pack! Horrified that Jason would go to school tomorrow sans periwinkle, I had an even bigger problem; what am I going to tell the dealership manager? Mike and I act fast. We grab some Resolve and gently remove most of the melted crayon from the floor. The floor looks pretty good, and Mike admires his handiwork and gently closes the car door. As the door makes contact with the body of the car, a 22oz Pepsi - which was resting on the aluminum center console - heads south, crashing on the very same part of the floor! Not good! Panicked, Mike dives into the car and uses his towel to soak up the massive cola river now raging on the floor. We mop up the massive Pepsi puddle with a towel, and I run to ask Judy for another. 10 minutes later the floor is sticky, but clean. We pulled it off!

Back at the dealership we pull in and the manager greets us. I hand over the keys, thank him for the test drive, and tell him "I'll think about it." Moments later, to my surprise, he exclaims "Is that an ice cube?" Apparently when the Pepsi spilled, some ice flew under the seat - an area our hands couldn't reach - and this lone cube somehow wiggled its way out on the drive back. I sat there stunned, and Mike exclaimed "Huh, where in the hell did that come from?" The manager gave us a veiled dirty look, and I sort of shrugged my shoulders as if to say "Hell if I know!" Our welcome was clearly overstayed, so we got the hell out of there before the manager had more time to think about what we "may" have done with the car. That was a close one! If anyone out there bought a yellow Ford GT with a sticky passenger side floor, I apologize!

Hello everyone. Being that I just started this blog, I am fairly certain I am talking to no one right now, but hopefully in time that will change. My name is John Terkimer, and I test drive cars. Actually, John Terkimer is not my real name, rather the one I will use to refer to myself on this blog. I can't use my real name, otherwise I could get myself into a bit of trouble. Why, you ask? Stay tuned and you'll find out.

As I said before, my name is John and I test drive cars. Now I must clarify that I don't make my living test driving cars - I have a "real" job for that. Instead, I test drive cars as sort of a hobby/side-job. How I came about test driving cars as a hobby is an interesting little story, but not half as interesting as how I routinely convince auto manufacturers, dealership managers, and other automotive bigshots to give me - a total stranger - high-priced cars to test drive. Over the past 10 years I've test driven more cars than you can possibly imagine - many of them I got to drive a year before they were even launched in the U.S. A good majority of them were high-dollar cars, some of which were never sold here in the States.

So why this blog? Well, my test drive adventures over the past 10 years have been anything but dull. Let's just say that my methods for acquiring the cars I drive - and the way I drive them - are a unique experience. You're not going to find test drive writeups like mine in Motor Trend or Car & Driver, that's for sure. Those guys (and gals) depend on test driving to earn a living, therefore they must maintain a certain level of professionalism and civility when doing so. Not me! Since I have never, ever, written a review on any car that I've driven, for all intents and purposes I do not exist in the automotive world. No one knows of me, or what I've been up to the past 10 years. Until now. I finally decided to start writing about my adventures for all to enjoy. With this blog I hope to entertain you, the reader, as well as enjoy a stroll down memory lane a bit too, which is always fun for me.

I'd like to mention though that I won't simply be retelling my past. In fact, most of my posts will center around current cars that I am test driving, especially highly desirable ones that the average person wouldn't be able to get their hands on. This seems like the most exciting way to go, especially given the large number of amazing cars on the market today.

So buckle up, it's going to be a strange and interesting ride indeed. I hope you enjoy it as much as I will.